I dunno about you, but I get so weary of blah-blah-blah language. You have to translate as you read. And then I, the cynic that I am, feel compelled to hang onto my wallet when I read such blither blather because I figure about the time I finish reading an ad that promises some new “Benefit” to ….they’re going after my money. Or they’re reducing services.
Or consider this. It’s an ad for….for what? (I love the way they add the little “TM” after their verbal creation.)
“Tatum helps companies maximize the Office of the CFO with a singular focus on accelerating business performance to create more value™. (?!) Using a unique blend of executive services, executive consulting and executive search, we provide human capital solutions (What the heck does that mean?) to meet your needs with velocity. (Huh?) Organizations of all sizes call us when critical business challenges arise because we understand the urgency of NOW.” (And btw- no one but NO ONE understands the urgency of NOW like a mother with a toddler who has to go potty NOW.)
I would like to propose a new business: Theresa’s Uncluttered Copy Writing. I can reduce all that verbosity to a few simple, BS-free words:
Tatum’s—We Connect Employers With Employees
Yes. Much better; I think I can breath easier now. Think I should trademark it?
Filed under: Just for fun Tagged: | copywriting
Wow. Just wow.
I’d like one Theresa’s Version please, to go.
Ah yes, Coming right up Madame.
In the wondrous words of that Strunk, esteemed author of “The Elements of Style,” Omit needless words!
And in order to serve you better….oh, wait…wrong script….
Wow! You said it so well. I am so grateful for your recommendation of the book On Writing Well…….which really slams the verbosity of so much blather…………Good job!!