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    theresa


    Theresa Lode or, simply “T”, had her world turned upside down and inside out when her son was diagnosed with ADHD and a few other goodies. Her choice- follow the doctor's orders....or trust her heart and delve into the world of Free Range Education. She chose the latter...

    Curious? Want to know more? Read on ...

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Non academic kids are dumb

Posted on October 22, 2010 by therealmotherlode

This is the message spoken to thousands of school kids every day:

Study hard….get good grades…do as your told…color in the lines….comply, comply, comply.  And of course the prime directive: FIT IN. For God’s sake…FIT IN!!!

What about the child who works with their hands?  What about the kid who freezes up when it comes to taking a test but invents and fabricates model rockets in his spare time?  Or what about a kid who has a dream of becoming a chef? (True story:  I was visiting with a mom the other day who was distressed over her child’s desire to become a chef.  “He should study mechanics,” she said with a sigh.  We talked about that.)  Or the hyperactive girl who thinks math is dumb and is a gifted ballerina?

If we judge these kids against a classroom measure the tacit message conveyed is:  You are dumb. (And rising numbers of them will be drugged to help their “deficits.”)

Every child is a genius in their own unique way.  Some excel in the classroom but there are far more who don’t.  From a severely disabled non verbal child who can light up a room with a smile, to the math nerd. All bring unique gifts into the world.

Sadly, our educational models only validate the academically strong.  Education and genius come in many different shapes and sizes.  And given the changes in the workplace models,  this is more important than ever that we recognize this.

Filed under: ADD/ADHD, education, Individuality, Labels are for Soup Cans, Public schooling, Special Needs' Kids, The Mother Lode Project | 4 Comments »

Changing Education Paradigms

Posted on October 21, 2010 by therealmotherlode

More thoughts on education from one of my favorite thinkers, Sir Ken Robinson.

Filed under: ADD/ADHD, education, Labels are for Soup Cans, Personal development, Public schooling, Special Needs' Kids, The Mother Lode Project | 4 Comments »

Better Late Than Early

Posted on October 20, 2010 by therealmotherlode

I had a conversation with the kids’ principal yesterday.  Mr. White is a soft spoken, gentle spirited man with many years experience both in the classroom and administration.  So when he said, “Do you know what I wish schools would do?” I was all ears.  Something edgy? I thought.  I love edgy!  Some cool out-of-the-box approach?

I was all ears.

“I wish they’d start school later for kids,” he said. Okay.  So it’s not some new edgy approach.  But anymore, it is a RADICAL idea in education.  So many people think infancy isn’t too soon to begin school.

Mr. White is convinced there would be a reduction in learning challenges if we held off school for kids until they are older.

He’s not the first to voice this opinion.  The late Dr. Raymond Moore contended formal education should be held off until twelve years old for many kids.

It made me think about how if you “help” a butterfly out of its cocoon, it will die.  The struggle is what helps with their first flight.

For children, their “cocoon” needs to be left intact for when they are ready for academics. Unlike the butterfly, a child’s cocoon time isn’t a time of struggle but rather a time to nurture and teach foundational skills.   Like how to relate to others, play nice and have responsibilities such as emptying the dishwasher.  It’s a time for them to discover who they are and the world around them.

I often remember the words of one of my dear mentors, Kathy Clement, “Relationships first.  Skills second.  Academics third.”

I consider it as sort of a Maslow’s hierarchy of needs for education.  First things first!

Filed under: ADD/ADHD, education, homeschooling, Labels are for Soup Cans, Public schooling, Special Needs' Kids, The Mother Lode Project | Leave a Comment »

Our girl friendly schools/ Teleconference TONIGHT!

Posted on September 13, 2010 by therealmotherlode

Got a boy in school?  There’s some disturbing things to consider if you do.

Consider these few facts:  (A tip of the hat to Marty Nemko for his brilliant work on education.  I found the info cited here.)

The number of boys placed on the Ritalin (and it’s ilk) leash has risen 3000% (!) over the past 20 years.

Boys are  2 1/2 times more likely to drop out of high school.  5 1/2 times more likely to commit suicide and much less likely to earn a college degree than girls.

In elementary schools, 91% of the teaching staff are women.  The only male role model to be found in most schools is the janitor.

Throw in an ADD/ADHD diagnosis and things just got worse.  Much, much worse.

These are just a few of the things I’m learning.  And these are a few of things Deb Ingino and I will be talking about tonight.  If you have a boy in school or a boy with ADHD in school, listen in!  We’ll be taking questions as well.

Please join us TONIGHT at 9PM CT!  Here’s the call details:

http://attendthisevent.com/?eventid=14822418

Filed under: ADD/ADHD, education, homeschooling, Individuality, Labels are for Soup Cans, Public schooling, Special Needs' Kids, The Mother Lode Project | Leave a Comment »

You are called to be an artist

Posted on August 27, 2010 by therealmotherlode

Here’s an excerpt from my favorite poem, A Psalm of Life by Longfellow.  (If you’ve received an email from you, you’ll recognize the “Lives of great men” line as I use in in my signature.)

Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time ;

This poem came to mind as I was thinking of all the great people who have inspired me.  There are many- from writers to artists to musicians. And then there’s the other artists that we don’t really consider artists.   The smiling clerk who excels at customer service.  The mechanic who intuits what’s wrong with your car and fixes it at a reasonable cost. The friend with the listening ear or the compassionate mama who nurtures her babies.

Consider:

“He should sweep streets so well that all the host of heaven and earth will pause to say, ‘Here
lives a great street-sweeper who did his job well’.”
— Martin Luther King Jr.

Sadly, in our conformity driven educational models, we marginalized, (and label,)  people who aren’t strong academically.  We obsess over teaching them history when what they need is an opportunity to shine in the area of their unique strengths.

We do a great disservice to insist that every child be on track for college.  And in the process we also kill off the artist inside.

The world is robbed of the distinctive and life giving talents it so desperately needs.

True education must first begin with the question: Who am I? And from there proceed to: What are my passions? and then…What do I need to learn so I can become the best at whatever I do?

The doing flows out of the being.  What a beautiful way to watch the artist in our kids come forth.

Filed under: ADD/ADHD, College education, education, Individuality, Labels are for Soup Cans, Personal development, The Mother Lode Project | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Will your ADHD’er drop out of school?

Posted on August 25, 2010 by therealmotherlode

If your child suffers from the  “psychiatric disorder” known as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, they have a higher chance of delaying high school graduation or of dropping out.

In this article in USA Today, author Julie Schweitzer, an ADHD expert and associate professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the UC-Davis, says,  “This study shows that ADHD is a serious disorder that affects a child’s ability to be successful in school and subsequently in a way that can limit success in life,” she said.

(Cue to the war drums….)

Schweitzer adds ominously, “This is a disorder that has serious long-term impacts on your ability to be successful and contribute to society, not just in school, but for the rest of your life.”

Folks, contrary to the verbiage of this article, ADD/ADHD is not a mental health disorder. But of course if it’s going to treated as such, one need not consider that maybe, just mebbe….our educational models are playing a causative role in the increased diagnosis of ADD/ADHD.

Instead, we’ll throw medication at these kids, stigmatize them as defective and then, wail about how they’re dropping out of school and becoming a burden to society.

How about this:  We rethink how we do school.  Plug the kids into hands on work or real world job shadowing.  Bring back auto and carpentry shop.  Utilize mentors.  Challenge their creativity.  Give them uber difficult problems to address.

And allow the genius that is wrapped up in ADD/ADHD an opportunity to flourish.

Filed under: ADD/ADHD, education, Labels are for Soup Cans, Public schooling, Special Needs' Kids, The Mother Lode Project | 8 Comments »

Does college preparation begin in kindergarten?

Posted on August 24, 2010 by therealmotherlode

I read an ad touting an award winning curriculum for preschoolers.  One of the goals of the curriculum: “To prepare young minds for preschool academics.”

Have we lost our minds?  We’re talking about 3 and 4 year olds!

But I shouldn’t be surprised.  There is a growing trend for parents to begin preparing their children for college while they’re in kindergarten.  I have even read of kids taking entrance exams for preschool.  (And parents sweating over their results.)

I’ll say it over and over again.  One of the greatest gifts a parent can give to their child is the gift of time.  Time to allow their children to explore their interests and their giftings.  Time to be creative.  Time to climb trees, contemplate clouds and learn how to relate well to those around them.

The old “get good grades so you can get a good job” mantra doesn’t work anymore.  The assembly line approach to education doesn’t work.  And instead of recognizing this new reality, we speed up the pace and attempt to place the children on an assembly line at younger ages.

Anytime a system takes priority over the individual it becomes all about maintaining the system…and to heck with the kids. There’s just too much money and power invested in the house of cards.

Which brings me back to my point about preschool academics.  The ad that I read was targeted toward homeschoolers!

Parents- why are you trying to recreate this irrelevant system in your home?

Read books with them.  Go watch an ant hill for an hour. Fix lunch together and help a neighbor.

And watch your relationship flourish along with their curiosity.   I can’t think of a better way to prepare them for a successful life….and even college if that’s what they need to do.

Filed under: College education, education, homeschooling, Individuality, Labels are for Soup Cans, Public schooling, Special Needs' Kids, The Mother Lode Project | 1 Comment »

I made a young mom cry

Posted on June 4, 2010 by therealmotherlode

This was my Facebook status update a little while ago and I wanted to post it here too.  It was a conversation I had today at our garage sale:

I just made a young mom cry. She told me she was getting ready to homeschool her oldest child who is 5. There are three younger siblings. I asked for her permission to give her my 2 minute “new homeschool mom” talk. She agreed. I told her to love her little guys, read to them lots and take nature walks. She cried with relief. She had been worried. “But I can do this,” she said, “This was a God appointment.”

And to elaborate further…

It makes me sad that this was revelatory to her.  I know when I received this advice many years ago, it was a new idea to me too.  I thought a scope and sequence was the way to go.  I thought I had it all figured out.  But it didn’t take long for all my plans to unravel as I watched Daniel’s learning differences become more apparent to me.

But let’s be real here….EVERY child has learning differences because they are all UNIQUE.  Using a “school” approach works better for school….it’s a terrible model to try to duplicate in the home.  (And psssst….between you, me and the wall, I think it’s a terrible model anyway.)

Young mommies—-Don’t panic over homeschooling your little ones.  Waiting until their 7 years old or even older is NOT TOO LATE to begin “formal” education-  There is solid evidence to support this!  Enjoy them while they’re little.  And don’t pressure yourself, especially if you have infants still.  (This mom that I talked to was still nursing her youngest.)  Egads…I can’t think of a quicker route to the laughing farm than to try to institute a formal course of study with a 5-year-old…especially if he is the oldest of four kids!

Ya never know what discussions will come up at a garage sale, eh?

Filed under: education, homeschooling, Individuality, Labels are for Soup Cans, Public schooling | 5 Comments »

Conformity is overated!

Posted on May 28, 2010 by therealmotherlode

I stood outside the big rig while Alan, the driver, a 40-something year old with shoulder length blond hair beckoned what I thought was his dog.

“No, it’s not a dog,” he said with a grin.

“Well, what on….” I stopped midsentence as I watched a black cat, touches of white here and there, trot out from behind a dumpster.  He sat down at Alan’s feet, accepted a few scratches behind his ear and then hopped up into the cab of the truck.

Alan seemed to enjoy the bemused look on my face. I felt like I was on a Seinfeld episode.  “You just train ‘em,” he said.

Alan is part of the phone collector’s network and yet another one of the most unique individuals I’ve ever met.  We were meeting him to pick up a load of more phone stuff for Daniel…in this case a load of…well, I don’t know what it was….but there was a lot of it.  It was from Phil in Oregon.  After us, Alan was going to rendezvous with another collector in MN.  (He does it when his route intersects one of the collectors.)

Visiting with him, I learned he is fascinated with Theatre organ music (Phantom of the Opera was playing over the speakers).  “They’re nothing but big tubes and switches” he said.  He told us that we really must see the big organ outside of Phoenix one day.

I spied the rotary dial phone on the dash of his cab- its jury rigged to accept calls via his cell phone. (These men share a mutual disdain for cellular phones.)   And we talked about his family.  He’s been driving truck for about 10 years and sometimes brought his youngest son along with him.

And about those phones?  Alan had to find a bigger home to warehouse HIS phone switches.

I was telling my good friend Amanda about this unusual man.  She gushed with enthusiasm, “I love colorful people!”  She went on to say that part of why she loves Charles Dickens’ books so much is because they are full of unique characters.

I thought of the colorful characters I’ve enjoyed in contemporary books, Robert B. Parker’s Spenser or Hawk.  Or Sue Grafton’s Kinsey Milhone.  I love television programs where I feel like I get to know the characters and their quirks.  Gibbs on NCIS.  Or the head dude on the British MI-5 program.  Or that goofy little kid with echolalia on The Middle.

Yes, indeed.  Alan could easily be cast in a fun show.  Because he’s memorable.  He’s fun.  And he’s in touch with his passions.

How about you?  What delights your soul?

Filed under: Individuality, Labels are for Soup Cans, parenting, Personal development | Leave a Comment »

Switched at birth

Posted on May 26, 2010 by therealmotherlode

The first time I held my Daniel, I had a sense that there was something unique about him.  Now, I know….every baby is unique and every mom has that sense.  I’m talking beyond that.

As we navigated through toddler hood, early school years, and now adolescence and the teen age years,  Daniel’s unique interests and passions in life are evident to anyone who spends a few minutes with him.

We made the decision years ago that his differences weren’t a negative thing, like some medical people would have had us believe.  We decided that what he needed WASN’T an IEP and medication.  And we chose instead to allow Daniel to immerse himself in his interests and see where it takes us.

That journey has been interesting.  And yes, at times it has taken some serious sacrifices on our part. Case in point, their recent trip to Missouri to retrieve an old telephone switching system.

This has been no small undertaking. This beast took about 7 hours to dismantle with 3-4 men working on it.

The trip has been covered by Daniel’s work money and the generosity of the telephone switcher’s club…many of whom teach and mentor Daniel over the phone.

Yes…this is about as unconventional as it gets.  And we’ve humbled beyond the power of words for the generosity of the club members to help make this happen. (Many, many thanks to you wonderful men.)

I’ve always scoffed at the “It takes a village to raise a child” but realize now that perhaps I need to soften my scorn and at least agree that sometimes it takes….a telephone club.  Especially if your kid was switched at birth.

Sometimes this journey takes us to out of the way places.

Filed under: education, Individuality, Labels are for Soup Cans, parenting, Personal notes | Tagged: | 9 Comments »

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