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    theresa


    Theresa Lode or, simply “T”, had her world turned upside down and inside out when her son was diagnosed with ADHD and a few other goodies. Her choice- follow the doctor's orders....or trust her heart and delve into the world of Free Range Education. She chose the latter...

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Guidelines for homeschooling your ADHD’er

Posted on January 24, 2011 by therealmotherlode

Wondering how to homeschool your hyperactive wonder?  Please note that I did not title this “How to Homeschool Your ADHD’er.”  Anymore, “how to” articles make me nervous.  How to lose weight.  How to be happy.  How to….. Everyone person is different and while one may learn some tidbits from someone else’s journey, there is no roadmap.  No easy 1-2-3 formula.  If someone tells you else wise, they’re selling something.

Now that we got that out of the way- here’s a few things I’ve learned in homeschooling my kids, one of whom was diagnosed with ADHD many years ago.

Know your child. If you have more than one child, you can recall how different each one felt the first time you held them in your arms.  (Or moms, how about when you were pregnant with them?)  This seems like such a basic thing but yet I still hear parents say, “Well, I really don’t know what my kid likes.”  HUH?  Stop everything, clear your overloaded calendar and schedule some lavish amounts of time with your kid.  I’ll just be standing over here by the water cooler to finish our chat later.

Understand their wiring. Yeah, this is sort of a rehash of my first point.  Consider their personality traits.  Is your kid a natural leader who needs a small island nation to rule or is he more of a contemplative thinker with a heart to serve others from behind the scenes?  This is also helpful in understanding your OWN wiring!  What motivates you may not motivate your child (and it may even frustrate them.)  I urge you to check out my friend Deb’s website: My Wired Style.  It will be money well spent to use her DISC survey.  Please.  Go. Do. This.

Cultivate their strengths. This is especially important if your child is fresh from public school where the “you’re defective” message has been received loud and clear.  The aim of school is to remediate so called deficiencies so your child can fit the norm (whatever the hell that means,) so the school can measure up on the standardized tests.

Begin with the end in mind. That’s my favorite Stephen Covey axiom.  The end in mind for public schools is: Every kid must go to college.  I trust you already understand the folly of this well intended but short sighted approach.  If your kid is obsessed with Legos, see if you can’t find him a mentor in the building industry.  Is Johnny fascinated by how things work; his future may include an apprenticeship.  Is Sally a natural born sales leader?  Cultivate that important skill!  Load her up on Zig Ziglar books.  Get a real estate agent who knows how to close the deal to spend some time with her.

As you can see, these things are not rocket science.  More tomorrow!

Filed under: ADD/ADHD, College education, education, Free Range Education, homeschooling, Individuality, parenting, PDD-NOS, The Mother Lode Project | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

You are called to be an artist

Posted on August 27, 2010 by therealmotherlode

Here’s an excerpt from my favorite poem, A Psalm of Life by Longfellow.  (If you’ve received an email from you, you’ll recognize the “Lives of great men” line as I use in in my signature.)

Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time ;

This poem came to mind as I was thinking of all the great people who have inspired me.  There are many- from writers to artists to musicians. And then there’s the other artists that we don’t really consider artists.   The smiling clerk who excels at customer service.  The mechanic who intuits what’s wrong with your car and fixes it at a reasonable cost. The friend with the listening ear or the compassionate mama who nurtures her babies.

Consider:

“He should sweep streets so well that all the host of heaven and earth will pause to say, ‘Here
lives a great street-sweeper who did his job well’.”
— Martin Luther King Jr.

Sadly, in our conformity driven educational models, we marginalized, (and label,)  people who aren’t strong academically.  We obsess over teaching them history when what they need is an opportunity to shine in the area of their unique strengths.

We do a great disservice to insist that every child be on track for college.  And in the process we also kill off the artist inside.

The world is robbed of the distinctive and life giving talents it so desperately needs.

True education must first begin with the question: Who am I? And from there proceed to: What are my passions? and then…What do I need to learn so I can become the best at whatever I do?

The doing flows out of the being.  What a beautiful way to watch the artist in our kids come forth.

Filed under: ADD/ADHD, College education, education, Individuality, Labels are for Soup Cans, Personal development, The Mother Lode Project | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Abilities BECAUSE of the Disabilities

Posted on December 8, 2008 by therealmotherlode

If you missed the Hallmark movie, “Front of the Class” last night on CBS…you simply must get the DVD. Hallmark movies are usually a home run as far as family friendly, inspirational stories and this movie was no exception. Perhaps it even surpassed those standards. (But I admit my bias since the subject is something near and dear to my heart—the use of LABELS.)

In this case, the label was Tourette’s Syndrome. It was based on the true story of a young boy who had Tourette’s when he was 6-years-old…before much of the mental health community even knew what it was. It’s hard for me to imagine the impact of the ignorance this boy and his devoted mother suffered with in addition to the challenges of having Tourette’s. We fear and try to control the things we don’t understand and this was portrayed in the insistence that the boy simply practice “Self control.”

The boy ended up becoming a teacher but faced many obstacles in getting employment in spite of his stellar student teaching reports because most schools wouldn’t give him a second look. He was quite frank about his Tourette’s and would address it with “Let’s first discuss the elephant in the room.”

The highlight of the movie, in my mind, was when during one particularly low period, his Stepmom showed up at his apartment and said something like,
Your calling to be a teacher isn’t in SPITE of your Tourette’s it’s BECAUSE of your Tourette’s.

He persisted…got hired as a second grade teacher….and went on to win a prestigious award in his first year of teaching. Tics and all.

Somebody pass the Puffs wouldcha?

I am so convinced as I watch my son, who had a pile of labels when he was younger, that on the flip side of those labels are some extraordinary abilities and giftings. It’s just a matter of finding the right fit for that child..or for that matter….an adult.

This movie couldn’t have said it better.

Filed under: ADD/ADHD, Individuality, Labels are for Soup Cans, parenting | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

After the diagnosis—then what?

Posted on October 14, 2008 by therealmotherlode

Maybe you were like us…you sat out in your vehicle holding a prescription for Ritalin, trying to hold the tears back while your hyperactive bundle bounced off the walls of the back of the van….unaware of the emotional maelstrom in the front seat.

So you drive home.  Or should you go to the pharmacy first?  But wait! I don’t want my kid on drugs! But maybe it will make life easier.  What should we do? What should we do?

Well, all I can tell you is what we did.  I hit the library and started reading.  And I also talked to other people in the “special needs” world and soon realized I needed to consult more than just one doctor.  And between you, me and the fencepost, that doctor ticked me off with how quick he rattled off ADHD while writing a prescription for a scheduled drug.  (Meaning, a highly regulated drug.)

I read about ADHD.  Asperger Syndrome. Sensory Integration Dysfunction. Pervasive Development Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified.  Fine Motor Dysfunction. I read Christian books, New Age books that dealt with “differences.”  I read about alternative treatments and medications.  I would have consulted a Shaman if I had the opportunity.  No, I didn’t give up my faith in Christ…I was a woman on a mission.

I read more.  I experimented with diets and herbal supplements.  Snake oils and magnetic blankets.  And yep–we tried a few prescriptions—-but not for very long.  We prayed.

And my big helpful juicy tidbit that I learned: There are no magic formulas.  Nikken may have helped your second cousin’s step nephew….but I wouldn’t plunk my money down for that $600 mattress unless you would have anyway.  And I don’t care what the dreadlocked clerk at Wild Oats tell you—-Dr. So and So’s 100% Natural calming homeopathy *may* have marginal effect but nothing in the miracle department.

I DID learn that for SOME children, a gluten intolerance can be a culprit behind some kids’ autism.  (Read “Unraveling the Mystery of Autism” to learn more.)  I also began wondering about the environmental factors that may or may not be helping.  I also learned that a good occupational therapist is worth their weight in a Valium.  (Because some of their suggestions just may bring peace to your home.)

But the bottom line—if you haven’t done so already—it’s time to get to work on your PhD in (Fill in your child’s name here) Studies.

And once again….this is getting too long for a blog.  More tomorrow in between my painting project!

Filed under: ADD/ADHD, Labels are for Soup Cans, parenting, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , | 1 Comment »

My kid’s been diagnosed with _____

Posted on October 13, 2008 by therealmotherlode

So the stock market’s gone crazy.  Warships are on our doorstep. (Venezuela.) The presidental race has brought out more vigorous discussion than I’ve even see around an election.  The sky is falling and the nation is going to hell in a handbasket.

But all this suddenly fades into the background when a parent’s been told their kid is autistic.  Or has ADD/ADHD.  Or, yeah…..fill in the blank. There’s plenty of labels to choose from.

Suddenly that election seems pretty trivial.  And all of a sudden Hugo Chavez is just another annoying barking dog.  (Maybe a really good shock collar would take care of him, eh?)

When you’re a parent, kid concerns supersedes everything else.  Especially when you’ve just been told the Light of Your Life is defective.  And not that that diagnosis was a big surprise either.  You had a feeling…or a teacher told you something was amiss and you headed to the docs.

So you’re relieved.  It wasn’t “just you.”  You’ve got a real live diagnosis and modern medicine to help you in your unique challenges.  Things will get better quick, right?

Not so fast.  This is a journey.  And like life, there’s up and downs and usually, no easy answers.

First thing to do: Take a deep breath.  And then take another deep breath and inventory the uniqueness of your child.

And then what????

I’ll write more this week.  We’re in the middle of getting ready for a big move!

Filed under: ADD/ADHD, Labels are for Soup Cans, parenting | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

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