• Got ADHD?

    theresa


    Theresa Lode or, simply “T”, had her world turned upside down and inside out when her son was diagnosed with ADHD and a few other goodies. Her choice- follow the doctor's orders....or trust her heart and delve into the world of Free Range Education. She chose the latter...

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Is ADHD a disease?

Posted on May 17, 2013 by therealmotherlode

Is ADHD a disease?  Nearly 10% of school aged kids will be diagnosed with, yes, what is referred to as “a disease” in America.

Here’s a few articles worth reading if you have ADHD swinging from your light fixtures.  

The first one is an article entitled Why French Kids Don’t Have ADHD.  It’s an interesting read and points out some of the cultural differences that drive the ADHD industry (or not.)  One thing I don’t necessarily agree with though is the inference that if you just control your home environment, your hyperactive wonder will settle down.  And even if you *did* have the perfect home environment, our schools and culture are a HUGE factor in facilitating gnat-like attention span.  

I’ll say it again: I don’t believe ADHD is a disease.  BUT…I do believe that some kids are wired in such away that they are at odds with box that is imposed on kids at younger and younger ages.  So to suggest that parents just do as the French….well, these parents are already grappling with enough guilt and feelings of inadequacy.  

The other article, Inventor of ADHD’s Deathbed Confession: ADHD is a Fictitious Disease caught my attention for a few different reasons.  First, the enormity of the power of social engineering that is at work.  

The other thing that never fails to take my breath away is the conflict of interest with the brains behind the DSM and their connections to big pharma.  There’s a lot of money to be made in the ADHD industry.

What do you think about these articles?

Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: , , | 3 Comments »

Guidelines for homeschooling your ADHD’er

Posted on January 24, 2011 by therealmotherlode

Wondering how to homeschool your hyperactive wonder?  Please note that I did not title this “How to Homeschool Your ADHD’er.”  Anymore, “how to” articles make me nervous.  How to lose weight.  How to be happy.  How to….. Everyone person is different and while one may learn some tidbits from someone else’s journey, there is no roadmap.  No easy 1-2-3 formula.  If someone tells you else wise, they’re selling something.

Now that we got that out of the way- here’s a few things I’ve learned in homeschooling my kids, one of whom was diagnosed with ADHD many years ago.

Know your child. If you have more than one child, you can recall how different each one felt the first time you held them in your arms.  (Or moms, how about when you were pregnant with them?)  This seems like such a basic thing but yet I still hear parents say, “Well, I really don’t know what my kid likes.”  HUH?  Stop everything, clear your overloaded calendar and schedule some lavish amounts of time with your kid.  I’ll just be standing over here by the water cooler to finish our chat later.

Understand their wiring. Yeah, this is sort of a rehash of my first point.  Consider their personality traits.  Is your kid a natural leader who needs a small island nation to rule or is he more of a contemplative thinker with a heart to serve others from behind the scenes?  This is also helpful in understanding your OWN wiring!  What motivates you may not motivate your child (and it may even frustrate them.)  I urge you to check out my friend Deb’s website: My Wired Style.  It will be money well spent to use her DISC survey.  Please.  Go. Do. This.

Cultivate their strengths. This is especially important if your child is fresh from public school where the “you’re defective” message has been received loud and clear.  The aim of school is to remediate so called deficiencies so your child can fit the norm (whatever the hell that means,) so the school can measure up on the standardized tests.

Begin with the end in mind. That’s my favorite Stephen Covey axiom.  The end in mind for public schools is: Every kid must go to college.  I trust you already understand the folly of this well intended but short sighted approach.  If your kid is obsessed with Legos, see if you can’t find him a mentor in the building industry.  Is Johnny fascinated by how things work; his future may include an apprenticeship.  Is Sally a natural born sales leader?  Cultivate that important skill!  Load her up on Zig Ziglar books.  Get a real estate agent who knows how to close the deal to spend some time with her.

As you can see, these things are not rocket science.  More tomorrow!

Filed under: ADD/ADHD, College education, education, Free Range Education, homeschooling, Individuality, parenting, PDD-NOS, The Mother Lode Project | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

You are called to be an artist

Posted on August 27, 2010 by therealmotherlode

Here’s an excerpt from my favorite poem, A Psalm of Life by Longfellow.  (If you’ve received an email from you, you’ll recognize the “Lives of great men” line as I use in in my signature.)

Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time ;

This poem came to mind as I was thinking of all the great people who have inspired me.  There are many- from writers to artists to musicians. And then there’s the other artists that we don’t really consider artists.   The smiling clerk who excels at customer service.  The mechanic who intuits what’s wrong with your car and fixes it at a reasonable cost. The friend with the listening ear or the compassionate mama who nurtures her babies.

Consider:

“He should sweep streets so well that all the host of heaven and earth will pause to say, ‘Here
lives a great street-sweeper who did his job well’.”
— Martin Luther King Jr.

Sadly, in our conformity driven educational models, we marginalized, (and label,)  people who aren’t strong academically.  We obsess over teaching them history when what they need is an opportunity to shine in the area of their unique strengths.

We do a great disservice to insist that every child be on track for college.  And in the process we also kill off the artist inside.

The world is robbed of the distinctive and life giving talents it so desperately needs.

True education must first begin with the question: Who am I? And from there proceed to: What are my passions? and then…What do I need to learn so I can become the best at whatever I do?

The doing flows out of the being.  What a beautiful way to watch the artist in our kids come forth.

Filed under: ADD/ADHD, College education, education, Individuality, Labels are for Soup Cans, Personal development, The Mother Lode Project | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Everyone you meet is a potential teacher

Posted on November 6, 2009 by therealmotherlode

As I was paddling around at the foot of Angel Falls this morning,  (I confessed on Facebook that when I’m swimming laps, I imagine I’m in South America but don’t tell anyone,) I was concentrating on my stroke.  Keep your head low….watch your stroke….

And I remembered Scott.  Scott was a tri-athlete that used to work at our old sports club back in Montana.  He was the pool maintenance man so we saw him regularly.  When I asked him for a few pointers on lap swimming, he happily did so.

But what really endeared Scott to my heart was his willingness to indulge Daniel’s curiosity with the inner workings of the pool pump.  At the time, Daniel was about five-years-old.

You might say that Scott was one of Daniel’s first teachers.  Since that time, Daniel has been taught by a number of amazing plumbers, phone repairmen, antiques dealers, a phone expert….and an old guy who smokes way too many cigarettes.  Electricians, banjo pickers, retired school teachers and most endearing, his 80-something-years-old Great Gramma.  (Daniel chats with her on the phone almost every night.)

(Wouldn’t you love the benefit of drawing from the wisdom and experience of a Godly, loving woman who’s been around for over eighty years?)

I have learned from my boy that everyone you meet is a potential teacher.  From the clerk at Wal Mart who has found a place of grace to live in in spite of the murder of his wife and children a few years ago….to my friends who’ve loved me at my worst.  Or the bookkeeper that helped me with my first “real” job….or Scott. (I gave up on the kick turn a long time ago, Scott.)

I think one of the biggest casualties of institutionalized education or religion is it marginalizes the teacher resident in each and every human.  Parents feel they’re not “qualified” to teach their own children.  And believers who feel the pastor is the only one qualified to counsel them. (Good Lord, no wonder preachers get so burned out.)

This is such a losing proposition.  We are wired to give and when we are withholding our life’s knowledge, experience and training in deference  for one whom the Matrix has deemed “qualified,” everyone loses.

A wonderful thing happens when you begin to see the teacher resident in everyone.  You see opportunity around every corner.  And your respect and appreciation for people will go up.  (Not to mention the other way around. How does it make you feel when someone asks for your advice on a matter?)

When I look at the young man Daniel is turning into I am astounded at the teachers God has brought to him.

And then I shudder thinking of what could have happened had I followed that pediatrician’s advice to “Get this child on medication and into a classroom as soon as possible.”

When Daniel is not being tutored by one of these amazing people he spends hours learning.  I’d tell you what he’s up to but truth be told, I haven’t a clue because it’s all over my head.

Now that you’ve met a few of Daniel’s teachers, here’s a picture of his current classroom:

P1040388

I don't think *this* is what that pediatrican had in mind, do you?

theresa_sig

Filed under: education, Individuality, Labels are for Soup Cans, Personal development, Public schooling | Tagged: , , , , , | 1 Comment »

“That child needs to be in school….” another thought

Posted on June 9, 2009 by therealmotherlode
P1030031

Indeed, Daniel's heart is singing...

I wanted to add a comment that my friend, Dan Miller made over at my blog at 48days.net.   Over the years he has helped many, many people find work that they love through his career coaching and best selling books.   I love Dan’s perspective here:

Theresa – I’m delighted to read about Daniel’s adventures there at Camp Buckeye. What a great example of the uniqueness he brings to the world. While other kids his age are struggling to get a book understanding of physics Daniel just goes ahead and builds something that demonstrates the principles. He has such a natural draw to things that make his heart sing. When I ask most adults what makes their heart sing, they pause longingly hoping anything will come to mind.

And as a Post Script to this….last night Daniel was still going strong at 9:00pm.  “I just want to get these outlets finished,” he said.   He asked me why on earth would I want to quit to just go sit down?

I talked him in to knocking off offering him a reminder that the next day would bring plenty of new opportunities.

Oh!  To see more people live with such focus and passion!

Filed under: 48Days, ADD/ADHD, family life, Individuality, Labels are for Soup Cans, Personal development | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

Abilities BECAUSE of the Disabilities

Posted on December 8, 2008 by therealmotherlode

If you missed the Hallmark movie, “Front of the Class” last night on CBS…you simply must get the DVD. Hallmark movies are usually a home run as far as family friendly, inspirational stories and this movie was no exception. Perhaps it even surpassed those standards. (But I admit my bias since the subject is something near and dear to my heart—the use of LABELS.)

In this case, the label was Tourette’s Syndrome. It was based on the true story of a young boy who had Tourette’s when he was 6-years-old…before much of the mental health community even knew what it was. It’s hard for me to imagine the impact of the ignorance this boy and his devoted mother suffered with in addition to the challenges of having Tourette’s. We fear and try to control the things we don’t understand and this was portrayed in the insistence that the boy simply practice “Self control.”

The boy ended up becoming a teacher but faced many obstacles in getting employment in spite of his stellar student teaching reports because most schools wouldn’t give him a second look. He was quite frank about his Tourette’s and would address it with “Let’s first discuss the elephant in the room.”

The highlight of the movie, in my mind, was when during one particularly low period, his Stepmom showed up at his apartment and said something like,
Your calling to be a teacher isn’t in SPITE of your Tourette’s it’s BECAUSE of your Tourette’s.

He persisted…got hired as a second grade teacher….and went on to win a prestigious award in his first year of teaching. Tics and all.

Somebody pass the Puffs wouldcha?

I am so convinced as I watch my son, who had a pile of labels when he was younger, that on the flip side of those labels are some extraordinary abilities and giftings. It’s just a matter of finding the right fit for that child..or for that matter….an adult.

This movie couldn’t have said it better.

Filed under: ADD/ADHD, Individuality, Labels are for Soup Cans, parenting | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Box business

Posted on November 11, 2008 by therealmotherlode

My friend Dan Miller wrote a brilliant piece today entitled “Serving Customers or Making Cars?”  In it he talks about how many businesses are more focused on creating demand for their products instead of truly listening to the customers’ needs.  IE…the American auto industry that continues to pump out cars with a 5-year life span instead of high quality ones.  Gotta keep ‘em coming back, eh?

It really made me thing about The Box business.  A while ago, I wrote about how Vincent Van Gogh’s dad, Theodoris, was a man who insisted that if his son didn’t fit the mold it was his kid that was off- not the mold.

Much of our educational system is based upon The Box.  No Child Left Behind, Pre-kindergarten (and hang on to your seatbelts because it’s probably just a matter of time before pre-K becomes mandatory), Achievement tests….pity the poor child who doesn’t fit well within these things- within The Box.

The Box has a whole industry created around it.  If your child has a learning difference or any sort of difference, it is classified and deemed pathological.  Therapy and medication are needed! Whole new specialties are formed.  Perhaps before long universities will be offered PhD’s in Boxology.  Oh, wait…they already have that, it’s just known under different names.

You see, my son Daniel learns differently.  His approach to chickens differs greatly from my approach to chickens.  In my world, I could get a book….read….carefully construct a coop….select the breed….etc… Everyone knows this is how it’s done properly, right?

Actually, I lied.  Because of all those steps I just lined out, I would never get a chicken.  Too much dang work!

Daniel’s approach?  Get the chickens and then run sliding and sailing and slipping in the mud of the sheer exhilarating joy of learning.

It’s the same way he’s learned about aquariums and tropical fish and electricity and plumbing and construction and…..

My most important role is to get out of the way…not insist he learn the way I do.

You’d think I’d learn by now!

Filed under: ADD/ADHD, homeschooling, Individuality, Labels are for Soup Cans | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

How to get a chicken

Posted on November 9, 2008 by therealmotherlode
I see the chicken and the chicken sees me

I see the chicken and the chicken sees me

Living with “The Gift” creates many opportunities for memorable moments.  Like this weekend.

Jay and Daniel take a drive out of town to pick up his riding lawnmower that we stored at a friend’s house.  On the way back Shiny Object Syndrome kicked in while they were driving past a flea market.  (For the uninitiated in my world, Shiny Object Syndrome, or SOS for short, is the tendency to be distracted suddenly by any shiny object.)

I imagine it sounded something like this: “Hey Dad!  Let’s stop and look at the chickens!”

Dad: “Okay!  But we’re only looking…”

5 minutes later, Dad and Daniel are leaving with not one but TWO laying hens.

They arrive home where mom looks up from the gardening bed she is cleaning up.  Daniel, all shiny- eyed is bubbling over, “Guess what I bought?” Jay is looming with a guilty look on is face in the background.  Clucking noises are heard from the back of the truck.

“Oh my gosh.  You didn’t.  Tell me you didn’t.  Oh dear God, please no….”

More clucking noises.  Daniel retrieves the birds from the back.  Their feet are tied so they are TICKED.  You might say the birds are giving us the bird.

In the meanwhile, Libby, a springer spaniel, which by the way is a type of dog specifically bred for bird hunting, begins whimpering, hyperventilating and pointing.

“Oh tell me you didn’t…” My voice trailed into a whimper as I look at the half finished chicken coop.  In our world, many things only reach the “half finished stage.”  I’m used to it by now.

But with the dog….and the cat…I know “Lucy” and “Aunt Bea’s” lives are going to be remarkably short with the half finished coop.

And then It kicks in.  The unbelievable focus and energy Daniel has when he’s motivated.  Within 2-3 hours, the coop was finished.  Yes, the ENTIRE sack of corn feed was dumped out….but the coop was finished.

This morning, I gingerly poked my nose into the coop to see if they were still alive.  What greeted me was one of their hind ends and I was just in time to witness that indeed, they were very much alive.

Daniel followed behind me, barefoot.  “You might want to watch where you step, son,” I told him.

He gave me his heartwarming smile.  Maybe this chicken business isn’t so bad after all.

And Jay tells me to count my blessings.  That flea market had goats and rabbits too.

Filed under: humor, Misc, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

After the diagnosis—then what?

Posted on October 14, 2008 by therealmotherlode

Maybe you were like us…you sat out in your vehicle holding a prescription for Ritalin, trying to hold the tears back while your hyperactive bundle bounced off the walls of the back of the van….unaware of the emotional maelstrom in the front seat.

So you drive home.  Or should you go to the pharmacy first?  But wait! I don’t want my kid on drugs! But maybe it will make life easier.  What should we do? What should we do?

Well, all I can tell you is what we did.  I hit the library and started reading.  And I also talked to other people in the “special needs” world and soon realized I needed to consult more than just one doctor.  And between you, me and the fencepost, that doctor ticked me off with how quick he rattled off ADHD while writing a prescription for a scheduled drug.  (Meaning, a highly regulated drug.)

I read about ADHD.  Asperger Syndrome. Sensory Integration Dysfunction. Pervasive Development Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified.  Fine Motor Dysfunction. I read Christian books, New Age books that dealt with “differences.”  I read about alternative treatments and medications.  I would have consulted a Shaman if I had the opportunity.  No, I didn’t give up my faith in Christ…I was a woman on a mission.

I read more.  I experimented with diets and herbal supplements.  Snake oils and magnetic blankets.  And yep–we tried a few prescriptions—-but not for very long.  We prayed.

And my big helpful juicy tidbit that I learned: There are no magic formulas.  Nikken may have helped your second cousin’s step nephew….but I wouldn’t plunk my money down for that $600 mattress unless you would have anyway.  And I don’t care what the dreadlocked clerk at Wild Oats tell you—-Dr. So and So’s 100% Natural calming homeopathy *may* have marginal effect but nothing in the miracle department.

I DID learn that for SOME children, a gluten intolerance can be a culprit behind some kids’ autism.  (Read “Unraveling the Mystery of Autism” to learn more.)  I also began wondering about the environmental factors that may or may not be helping.  I also learned that a good occupational therapist is worth their weight in a Valium.  (Because some of their suggestions just may bring peace to your home.)

But the bottom line—if you haven’t done so already—it’s time to get to work on your PhD in (Fill in your child’s name here) Studies.

And once again….this is getting too long for a blog.  More tomorrow in between my painting project!

Filed under: ADD/ADHD, Labels are for Soup Cans, parenting, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , | 1 Comment »

My kid’s been diagnosed with _____

Posted on October 13, 2008 by therealmotherlode

So the stock market’s gone crazy.  Warships are on our doorstep. (Venezuela.) The presidental race has brought out more vigorous discussion than I’ve even see around an election.  The sky is falling and the nation is going to hell in a handbasket.

But all this suddenly fades into the background when a parent’s been told their kid is autistic.  Or has ADD/ADHD.  Or, yeah…..fill in the blank. There’s plenty of labels to choose from.

Suddenly that election seems pretty trivial.  And all of a sudden Hugo Chavez is just another annoying barking dog.  (Maybe a really good shock collar would take care of him, eh?)

When you’re a parent, kid concerns supersedes everything else.  Especially when you’ve just been told the Light of Your Life is defective.  And not that that diagnosis was a big surprise either.  You had a feeling…or a teacher told you something was amiss and you headed to the docs.

So you’re relieved.  It wasn’t “just you.”  You’ve got a real live diagnosis and modern medicine to help you in your unique challenges.  Things will get better quick, right?

Not so fast.  This is a journey.  And like life, there’s up and downs and usually, no easy answers.

First thing to do: Take a deep breath.  And then take another deep breath and inventory the uniqueness of your child.

And then what????

I’ll write more this week.  We’re in the middle of getting ready for a big move!

Filed under: ADD/ADHD, Labels are for Soup Cans, parenting | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

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