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    theresa


    Theresa Lode or, simply “T”, had her world turned upside down and inside out when her son was diagnosed with ADHD and a few other goodies. Her choice- follow the doctor's orders....or trust her heart and delve into the world of Free Range Education. She chose the latter...

    Curious? Want to know more? Read on ...
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Christianty a la carte

The only thing more fun than people watching while eating a dog and Coke at Costco ($1.60!) is eavesdropping while you’re eating a dog and Coke at Costco.  (Did I mention it’s only $1.60?)

Yesterday conversation was amusing.  It was between a few women and lanky fellow with thick glasses and an overbite.  The topic: Church. A topic near and dear to my heard.

“There was a BAND!” woman #1 said.

Was that a gasp I heard or the HVAC system?

Nope.  I think it was a gasp.  “There were drums!  Git-tars! It was a regular BAAAAAAAAND.”

“NO!” Woman #2 said with disgust appropriate for the the discovery of a certain magazine hidden under her son’s mattress.

Overbite remained quit.

“And get this….the worship leader was a WOMAN!” woman #1 said in a stage whisper.

I plopped some more sauerkraut on my dog and took a swig of my Diet Coke.  This was getting good; but I dribbled some pop down my front.

“I’ll never go back there,” woman #1 said.

Overbite said something about a denomination; said that’s where they go. Ah! Woman #2 must be his help meet.

The scandalous conversation continued as they compared notes on what was appropriate for worship and what wouldn’t pass muster with the Almighty.

I slurped more Diet Coke and glanced away.  I think they were on to me.

A call interrupted their dialogue.  Overbite had to get back to the office.  And Help Meet had to go too.  The horrified one followed suit.  Yowsers!  Too bad her church didn’t have a doctrine about ill-fitting polyester pants.

And I was left alone with my thoughts.  That was fun.

Since when did Christianity turn into a salad bar or an a la cart menu?  A picking and choosing affair about how we view God….versus a simple relationship with Him?

Heavy on the lettuce….hold the bacon bits….oh wait….can’t have the bacon bits, they’re ungodly…Is the Blue Cheese more godly than the Thousand Island?

Oh, the silliness that ensues when we think of God as a good version of ourselves.  Or when we fashion an image of him based upon our opinions.

I suppose if you’re busy doing that stuff though, it keeps you distracted from doing the heavy lifting of loving that annoying neighbor and being nice to your family.

Saddest part though….it also keeps us from seeing the reality of his love and kindness.

Ah yes.  Life is full of learning opportunities.  Even at the Costco snack bar.  (Did I mention the dog and Coke are only $1.60?)

theresa_sig

Shake it up baby!

My happy place just got a little happier.  I was in Costco the other day and first was encouraged that spring indeed IS coming: The bathing suits are back.    Some people use calendars….I use the merchandise cycles at Costco to observe the coming and going of the seasons. 

And then there’s my beloved book table.  This is best enjoyed with a good cup of joe.  Thankfully, there’s a Barnes and Noble (my other happy place) right next door so I can load up with a good cup first.

I was consider a large coffee table book on the Middle Ages when I saw a shaft of light guiding me toward the bananas. Then I saw it:

Take me away!

I almost starting doing my happy dance but since I had a “Country fried chicken wing” in one hand and an itty-bitty cup of carrot juice in the other, (I had to go past the snack ladies to get there, you know) I had to settle for a few squeals. 

“Mom!!! You’re embarrassing me,” Molly hissed.

I approached the chair display- and in true Costco fashion, there were several of them.  A few others were already in bliss.  Except for one large bosomed woman who was, well, um, jiggling in a most alarming fashion. 

I plopped my purse on the floor taking care not to get chicken wing grease on the chair and threw back the carrot juice so I could crumple the cup and put it in my purse.

We settled in and I took care not to use the jiggle setting.  I opted for the “rolling pin” and was a bit startled by the chair clutching and squeezing my calves rather suddenly.  Is this what the baby experiences during childbirth?

Well there’s a real relaxing thought, the other side of my personality snapped back.

Molly giggled as she played with her controls.  I was confused and experienced the same distress I feel when I look at the  remote control for the TV.

Then I felt overwhelmed….the thing was reclining back….my calves were pulsating while the footrest they were in started lengthening and there was something beating into my neck.  Pictures from that Middle Ages coffee table book were flashing through my mind…especially the “Rack”, used to torture the unsubmitting.

Help me, Jesus!  What if I start jiggling too?!

I found an “emergency off” button and pushed it, leaving a smudge of chicken grease on it.  Oh well.

I hoisted myself up and out  and fled from the leather beast and decided that perhaps my fantasy of having a young college man by the time of “Pedro” or “Ricardo” giving me a massage on an ocean front would be better.  (He’d bring me frosty drinks with umbrellas in them too.)  And of course Pedro would have to have a strong stomach to work on this body…

In retrospect…perhaps my happy place is still….just my happy place.  I obviously can handle only so much happiness.  Unless of course, Pedro, if you’re reading this….

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