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    theresa


    Theresa Lode or, simply “T”, had her world turned upside down and inside out when her son was diagnosed with ADHD and a few other goodies. Her choice- follow the doctor's orders....or trust her heart and delve into the world of Free Range Education. She chose the latter...

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So how’s YOUR history?

Posted on March 30, 2009 by therealmotherlode

I had a discussion with a mom last night who is considering homeschooling one of her kids next year. She asked me the usual questions but the one that made me wince was “What do you do for history?”

I talked about Beautiful Feet for American History….Story of the World for ancient history….museums….blah, blah. Little did she know I was squirming a little inside because I haven’t been “up” in history this year.

Fast forward to today. Molly and Caleb are firing questions at me and my friend, Miss Laurel….who happens to be the wife of Daniel’s telephone expert friend, Mr. Jim. The questions were around World War II and then morphed into questions about the Berlin Wall.

I went prattling on about the Communist and how the Wall went up after WWII. I knew I was on some shaky ground, so Miss Laurel grabbed an encyclopedia and read to a spellbound Caleb about the construction of the Berlin Wall….and the four sectors….and the time that it was constructed… in 1961. Ahem. Good Lawd. I’m sure glad I didn’t spout off more ignorance before she rescued my dignity with the World Book.

Boy oh boy were my facts off! Even Miss Laurel said she didn’t know some of this stuff.

So, why do we homeschool mom’s feel insecure when your kid isn’t a history encyclopedia? Or flip out because he’s a little slow in figuring out the area of a trapezoid like my kids where last week. (Like THAT’S a make or break life skill?)

As we were leaving their house, (a weekly appointment that we all greatly enjoy) Mr. Jim smiled and said, “That’s one smart boy there. He showed me what he rigged up and it’s pretty amazing.” If you remember me talking about Mr. Jim before and his telephone mentorship of Daniel….this is the guy with 60+ years experience in telephones. As is SOP (standard operation procedure), Daniel had brought a box of gadgets and gizmos of his latest invention and then he and Mr. Jim embark into another world. It’s fascinating to watch them. It is not an exchange between a 14-year-old boy and a 75-year-old man but rather a two individuals sharing a fascination for phones. It is a not a gift I regard lightly.

As we were leaving, Jim told me he asked Daniel if he wrote down the schematics for his invention and Daniel merely shrugged his shoulders and said, “It’s in my head.”

Probably sitting in the spot that I was insisting should be filled with random facts of no interest to him.

Filed under: family life, homeschooling, Individuality, parenting | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

Bo-Bo is UNDER THE TABLE

Posted on January 13, 2009 by therealmotherlode

I’ve been in the midst of my annual “Am I doing enough crisis.”   Thankfully, it’s been a long time since the days of monthly or even weekly panic attacks wondering if I was destroying my children’s opportunities for a successful future by educating them at home.

These moments can be precipitated by a simple talk with another mom whose 12 year-old-child has just been accepted into medical school….or something as simple as my kid still taking waaaaaaaay too long to answer: What’s 8×6?  (BTW-How long did that take you?)

Like the course of a viral illness, my progression from panic to resolution in these matters are pretty darn predictable.  It usually starts with a  2:00am wide-eyed assessment of my kids’ academic achievement, followed by 2 days of soul searching and ending with a study of the local public schools’ Scope and Sequence.

For those of you blessedly unfamiliar with what a Scope and Sequence is, it is that magical course created by the Powers That Be, that Johnny must know what prepositions are in 5th grade….not 8th….not 12th….but 5th grade.  Sally must take Algebra in 9th grade….not 11th. Etc, etc…

If you’ve watched “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth-Grader” you’ll get an idea of what a typical fifth grade classroom is studying.  (And the irrelevant bits of knowledge that most adults are unable to recall.)

Anywho.  Back to my typical progression and the ultimate resolution.  (At least for another year.)

This year I have  Mrs. Whose-It at a local school to thank for my speedy recovery when she reported what she was doing with her 5th grade English class.

“Students are asked to bring their favorite stuffed animal on Wednesday to demonstrate prepositional phrases.”

As in…Bo-Bo is UNDER THE TABLE or Fluffy is flying THROUGH THE AIR.

Yep.  That about fixed it.

I thought about my all-boy Caleb walking the hallowed halls of academia with a stuffed animal under one arm and an English text under the other.

And I felt sorry for all the little boys, future movers and shakers, warriors and explorers,  that will never be, because over the course of 12 years of institutionalization and stuffed animals…they have been dumbed down and homogenized into a miserable state of existence.

Saddest part—many don’t even realize this until a mid-life crisis at 40-something (or 50-something or 60-something) leaves them wondering who the heck they are.

Now lemme back up here….I’m not throwing rocks at Mrs. Whose-It. Bless her heart, she’s doing the best she can to creatively teach prepositions. ( And I bet the girls, who probably already “got” prepositional phrases, had a blast with the object lesson.)

And children who already have a strong sense of who they are, can and will pass through the system just fine.

But there is no such thing as a One Size Fits All curriculum.  However, there IS a One Size Fits Me curriculum.

And it’s going to vary wildly from child to child.  The biggest downside of this curriculum is the the tendency of mom to compare.

God help me to stay the course and remember that a successful education ultimately means having a child who knows who they are and fully embraces their wonderful, and brief,  gift of life.

And like John Eldridge put in in his wonderful book, Wild at Heart…(rough paraphrase)….don’t ask yourself what does the world need…ask yourself what makes you become fully alive and do that.  The world needs people who have become fully alive.

So yeah….what he said.  (Stuff animals optional.)

Filed under: homeschooling, Individuality, Labels are for Soup Cans | Tagged: , , , | 3 Comments »

Toilet paper can’t begin to clean up these messes

Posted on January 8, 2009 by therealmotherlode

Better put toilet paper on Johnny’s next “Back to school” list if you live in Detroit.  The principal of an elementary school recently sent out a letter to parents requesting among other things, toilet paper and light bulbs. In asking for the donations, the school letter pointed out that the request was, “of the most utmost importance for proper school functioning and most importantly for student health and safety.”   And you thought shootings and teachers with overactive libidos were all you needed to worry about.  But I digress.

Because of the district’s $400 MILLION budget deficit  it is on the verge of being assigned an emergency financial manager by the state.   (And we know how effective those Michigan government financial managers are, eh?)

One alert reader commented that part of the problem lies in the fact that Detroit schools receive “only” $7,500 per kid as opposed to more affluent districts which receive $12,000 per child.

I nearly spat out my coffee on that one.  And I had an epiphany on how they can solve their um, delicate issues.  Skip the emergency financial manager and hire a homeschool mom to balance those books.  Statistically speaking, we homeschool moms educate our children far better and we do it for an average of $500 a year.  (I can’t specifically recall if that is per child but I think it’s per family.)  And any toilet paper shortage is quickly remedied by a trip to WallyWorld.

And in the meanwhile—on another Great Lakes shore, we have the scandal in the Chicago Public School where ersatz educators purchased cappuccino machines to the tune of $67,000.  True, that amount is trifling for the amount of moola in their budget.

Now on the one hand, being a coffee fiend, I have a soft spot for coffee-related things.  And I do commend the vocational programs for wanting to impart 21st century skills to the youth.  But do we really need another dumbed-down version of a real life skill?  And besides, they couldn’t even use the darn things.

“…Schools didn’t know how to use the machines and weren’t prepared to implement them into the curriculum,” Inspector General James Sullivan said.

Here’s a thought—send those kids out to Starbucks and the like and have them get trained in REAL LIFE and get this…it will cost tax payers NOTHING and the kids get a paycheck.  Oh- be still my heart-if that isn’t a win-win situation why you could just thump me over the head with a roll of toilet paper!

If they send me one of those machines, I could probably come up with some more terrific ideas.  Lawd knows, it’s going to take much, much more than toilet paper to clean up these messes.  (And I’m not talking money.)

But in defense of the schools…it must be tough coming up with bright ideas to tackle these pesky issues.  Especially when you’re out of light bulbs.

Filed under: Current events, homeschooling | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Get out of the way!

Posted on November 13, 2008 by therealmotherlode

The longer I watch how my children learn the more I learn that the greatest thing I can do in instructing them is….are you ready for this one….Get out of the way.

Children are natural learners.  Now granted, they don’t naturally want to learn their multiplication.  (Though a PBS progam on “Fractals” a few weeks ago captured everyone’s attention.)  Let’s face it, some of the necessary things in life aren’t real thrilling to learn.  (And this is why I could never fully call myself an “unschooler.”)

If you read from a few days ago I outlined how *I* would go about getting chickens versus how Daniel goes about getting chickens.

Since that time, the chicken are doing well, much to my surprise.  And part of this is because Daniel, realizing his first chicken coop was a bit shabby, spent the entire day constructing a rock solid chicken coop, complete with braces, a hinged door and a nesting shelf.  Did I mention the porch?  This afternoon, he is getting it wired.  (“By the way, I’ll need eight-gauge wire to compensate for line loss if I wire my fort, Mom.”)

If I had it my way, we’d be waiting for the “How to Raise Chickens” guide from Amazon.  And Daniel would have long ago lost interest.

This quote is apropos:

Never tell people how to do things.  Tell them what to do, and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.”

George S. Patton

Filed under: homeschooling, Individuality, Labels are for Soup Cans, Personal development | Tagged: , , | 1 Comment »

Freedom is a good thing

Posted on October 4, 2008 by therealmotherlode

Today we’re heading to a gun and knife show.  I am so grateful to be living in a country where we can still keep and bear arms.  But of course, I always wonder how much longer we will have that right.

I often ponder this thing called freedom.  Our right to own guns can get swallowed up in laws.

But we do that in other areas too.  We turned the freedom Christ’s given to us into a set of laws and list of do’s and don’t.  We take a child’s natural curiosity and try to box it up in a curriculum.

Every time a decision is made out of fear, we lose a bit of that freedom.  Fear of guns, fear of “doing enough” in serving God or educating our children…all leads to a loss of freedom.  Glorious freedom.

We need to guard it jealously.

Filed under: Individuality, Misc | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

What the hell’s going on in the schools?!

Posted on September 26, 2008 by therealmotherlode

Here’s a good reason to keep those kids at home: Their safety.  The stories in today’s Tennessean are horrifying: A kindergarten girl s*xually assaulted on a the bus by a third or fourth grader.  A 10-year-old autistic boy was HANDCUFFED and place in the back of a squad car.  Here’s the link; both stories are on the front page.

This is not the first time an assault as taken place on a school bus—another one was reported maybe a month or so ago.   And the autistic boy?  Evidently, school personnel were unable to handle his behavior so they called in the police. (?!)

Mary Hood wrote a book several years ago entitled, “Onto the Yellow School Bus and into the Gates of Hell.”  I bet if that little girl were old enough to articulate it, she’d agree with Mary’s assessment.

You know, we homeschoolers often get asked the question: What about their socialization? (This subject deserves a rant all of its own and times does not allow right now.)

With the kind of socialization going on in the government schools, I’ll keep mine home, thank you.

Late entry: I forgot to mention the other school headline.  A local school 30-something female school teacher is under investigation with having s*x with a 17-year-old boy.  It’s suspected that she had relations with other boys too.

Filed under: Current events, homeschooling | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

Frequently asked questions about homeschooling

Posted on September 23, 2008 by therealmotherlode

Thought I’d post a few of the questions that come my way.

Q. I could never homeschool my child—how do you do it?

A. I can’t homeschool either.  But I can be a mom to my chiluns and we enjoy learning together. And (shhhhhh, don’t tell anyone) everyday provides plenty of opportunity to learn. Yesterday a few of the things we did was read three books on tornados and watched the 700 Club and discussed the political race.  Thankfully, Jay is taking math over for me…the one thing I DON’T like doing. That one was easy!

Q. Do I have to buy a curriculum?

A. Only if you want to be on a speedy track to burnout and wish to entertain thoughts of shipping off to the funny farm.  Curriculums are a “one size fits all” approach and your child is a “one size fits ME” child.   Caveat- if you wish to replicate SCHOOL in your home, feel free to indulge.  I’ve found though that a life full of good books, a microscope and real life interactions provides plenty of educational opportunity.

Q. Must I begin baking my own bread?

A. This question is a little tricky.  Are you going to use a bread machine or knead it by hand?  Grind your own wheat or use store bought flour?  And where to you buy your supplies?  A co op or Wal Mart?  It’s a minefield of decisions!

No Siree.  This is a conundrum….you must search your own heart for this answer.  For the record, I buy whole wheat bread but make my own pizza dough with white flour….where does that leave me?

Q. Do I have to grow my hair long and wear a denim jumper?

A. Only if you want too.   Chaco sandals optional.  I personally keep my hair short, that way when I’m tearing it out, the bald spots aren’t as noticeable.

Q. What if I feel like I’m losing my mind somedays?

A. Invite your friends over for a party.  You can search together.

Q. What about options for my ADD/ADHD’er?

A.  You may wish to try medications.  (For you that is.)  Seriously.  This question requires more of an answer but since I’m being silly you’ll just have to hang in suspense.

Q. But I’m not qualified to teach my child!

A. Did you teach your little darling how to use a fork? Walk? Talk? Get dressed? Sing the alphabet song?   And how about you?  How did YOU learn how to use the internet?  (Chances are your motivation led you to learn on your own.)  You’re qualified, Dear.

So many questions….so little time!  And I’ll let you in on a well-kept secret: There is NO SUCH THING as the perfect homeschool mom.

We women can be a difficult lot.  When we’re not wondering if someone’s butt is as big as our own we can get thoroughly discouraged comparing ourselves to other moms.  Don’t fall into this trap.

Bake your bread—or don’t.  Educate in the morning…or afternoon.  Or on Saturdays, if that’s what works for your family. Blue jeans or blue jean jumper.

Celebrate the uniqueness that God has place in you and your children.

Filed under: homeschooling, humor, Individuality | Tagged: | 1 Comment »

The risks we parents take

Posted on September 2, 2008 by therealmotherlode

Tsk, tsk.  So much to write about so little time…

Today’s Tennessean offers an article entitled, “Good habits prevent homework hassles.“  What’s so crazy to me is that parents don’t pause to think about the insanity of their kids attending school 8 hours a day and then what precious little family time a typical family has…..can be swallowed up in homework hassles.

A comment later in the article by a “Homework expert” (How the heck does one qualify as a “homework expert?) and Professor of Psychology at Duke University cautions parents about not assuming the “risk” of teaching their children.  Once again, the expert has spoken and many parents will genuflect at their words.

Piffle, I say.  Here’s what I said in response to the story:

“They run the risk of teaching their children….” Harris Cooper, a leading homework expert.
“Say what? ” Theresa Lode, mom.

As a home educator I am mystified by these comments. I am also deeply saddened at how parents accept the message that it is only “the experts” that are qualified to teach their children. And then when I consider how these children are kept busy from dawn till dusk attending school and then doing homework having no/little opportunity to mingle with the real world and experience real work I don’t see a good outcome down the road.

The lion’s share of children graduate having no clue as to what they want to do. And more that 80% of working adults would would change jobs if they could. (Check out Dan Miller’s No More Mondays book.)

True education must first begin with a child getting the opportunity to explore their interests and passions. When they’re kept so busy, fat chance of that happening. And parents,  whether your home educating, using private school or public school don’t be fooled for a minute: YOU are the expert on your child, not the state. We are ALL in the business of educating our kids.

Filed under: homeschooling | Tagged: , | Leave a Comment »

The DYS profile

Posted on August 28, 2008 by therealmotherlode

This clever tool is cousin to the “DISC” profile that many of you are familiar with. The DYS profile will help you identify some of the DYSfunctions you may be dealing with.

My home has more than its share.  Here’s a few we suffer from–can you relate?

Dys-position- A frequent affliction of mine which increases in severity as I proceed farther into my 4th decade…ie…” Dys position is uncomfortable.”

Dys-quietude- Got kids? You can’t pretend-you’ve got this. Means there is no quiet to be found in the house. But can also mean someone’s up to no good..as in: “Dys-quiet’s been going on for too long.”  When the latter is coupled with a closed door, this can be rather serious and requires immediate assistance.

Dys-graphia- This is a tragic affliction suffered by millions of doctors. It means your handwriting challenged.

Dys-harmony- That unpleasant chord that resonants through your home when the kids are bickering. Of course, I understand that you’re children are nearly perfect like mine so you probably don’t suffer from this malady.

Dys-cussing- I’m guilty of this one. As in the time I didn’t realize I had a little swearing issue. I was unaware of this until Daniel, at the age of 2, looked out the kitchen window and said deadpan, “Look mom. There goes the damn garbage man.”

Dys-cord- Like the ADHD diagnosis, this is a relatively new affliction and is brought on by technology. It refers to that bewildering feeling when you look behind your computer and try to locate a printer cable. Is it dis-cord….or dat-cord?

Dys-tress- You know—-as in “tresses” eg…”Her long golden tresses.”  Or in my case, bad hair day.

Dys-organization- Could manifest by a sock in the fridge. Or car keys in the dirty clothes  basket. Also the inability to form a coherent sentence.  Sadly, the only treatment for this is Empty Nest Syndrome– the one affliction I sometimes look forward to.

Dys-count-ia- The realization by your children that their sibling got 1 more “M&M” than they did. Can cause violent outbursts.  We keep riot gear handy for when this rears its ugly head.

Dys-Orientation–Those delicate moments after you wake up in the chair after nodding off while your kid watches PBS Kids.  Can be especially horrifying if the Barney Theme song is playing in the background and you can’t remember where the heck you are.

If the dysfunction in your home has more dys than fun…I encourage you to find the humor in the foilables of motherhood and homeschooling.

And just remember…they WILL grow up.  And they too will have kids…and then it’s PAYBACK TIME BABY! Oops.  I mean….then they too will Dys-cover the joys of parenting.

Filed under: humor | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

Can I homeschool my special needs child?

Posted on August 27, 2008 by therealmotherlode

Probably not.  Unless of course you wish to invite a boatload of stress into your home.  Not to mention the expertise and evaluations required.  I mean—let’s be real now.  You’re just a mom.

Yes, you heard right.  Now let me clarify.  We educate our children at home….including the young man who had a string of diagnosis’ behind his name.

There is a huge difference between trying to recreate the institution we call “school” and educating your children.  And when you have a child with learning differences or disabilities..you are on a fast track to burnout if you’re trying to replicate a public school classroom.

Why do I believe this?  Because I believe the classroom setting is particularly destructive to boys that have an ADD/ADHD diagnosis.  To me it’s about as ridiculous as insisting that a fish should climb trees.

True education must begin by asking yourself Who did God create my child to be?  And then by giving your child the freedom to explore his interests….not trying to squeeze him into a one-size-fits-nobody box.

Christopher Paolini, the home educated boy wonder from my home state of Montana, said it best in a recent article in the Costco Connection magazine.  (Paolini penned the wildly popular “Eragon” and will release the third book in his trilogy this month.)

Referring to how his parents made endless trips to the library to allow him and his sister to indulge their interests he said,

“This [kind of learning] ultimately leads to an attitude where you’re not afraid to pursue your interests.  It’s very liberating whe you realize that you don’t need other people to tell you how to do something.  If you want to learn woodcarving,well, you can go get books and teach yourself woodcarving.  Or physics.  Or math.  Or whatever the subject may be.”

If his parents were busy doing “school” I’d bet the farm that this remarkable young man would not be enjoying the level of success he is experiencing.  The doing’s got to come out of the being.  Paolini’s parents understood this.

Good on you!

Filed under: homeschooling, Individuality | Tagged: , , | 1 Comment »

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